Ask, “What’s Important Now” (WIN) to Help Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating

I was at a conference recently speaking about ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) with folks who treat eating disorders and some who provide early feeding support in the community. When I can, I reserve a chunk of time for discussion and Q and A– for selfish reasons, partly.  I almost always come away with some new tip, story, or information that has tremendously shaped my work over the years. I had mentioned research that dads tend to pressure children more with eating, and boys tend to be more pressured. (Our theory is that if boys fall on the smaller side of the growth curve, the tendency is to try to get them to eat more to be ‘big and strong.’ Boys also make up a higher percentage of children with extreme picky eating.) Anecdotally, Jenny and I find that more fathers than mothers tend to struggle with letting go of rules and pressure; one area in particular is manners. One attendee talked about her rural area where there are a lot of fathers who are in the military, and that she observes that these dads seem more insistent on rules, order, and compliance with manners. For one family struggling with extreme picky eating, there are many mealtime battles around trying to get the kids to eat with elbows off the table, knives and forks held a certain way, not too loud, all asking to be excused only after everyone has finished… The fighting about manners adds to the tension and conflict over who is eating what and how much. The first STEP when we work with parents (and in our book)...

Picky Eating Progress Reports: Spirited 3 1/2 year-old

Sharing one mom’s early successes (and tips) with her son with extreme picky eating. My 3.5 year old and I needed some help. I read your book, Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating and started the process this past Friday. While reading the book I realized how emotional I have been about our struggle with food. My husband was on board when I told him about it. My family said they’d be respectful and help. My son’s daycare already operates just as your book describes. While I teared up several times while reading the book, as it so closely related to my sense of failure, it gave me hope to try something new. He is developmentally fine, but is spirited and strong willed. The struggles seemed to be escalating and I was ready for help. Since starting last Friday (one week of trying) things have already gotten so much better!!! I started our dinners new with all glass serving dishes so he can see the food. Changed the placemats and put flowers on the table so I felt like it was a fresh start. Since starting STEPs+ he helped make blueberry pancakes (winced when the blueberries came out, but I wanted them so I stayed the course) and then at the table he put one on his plate!!!! He has watched me eat cherries (many times) acting as if he’s not watching. Today he asked if I eat the stem. When the dessert is on the table he eats a bit of it, but goes to his safe foods and eats them instead. His asking for crackers has almost...

The Art of the Pile-On: Family-Style at It’s Finest

I learned about the “pile-on” from friends at work many years ago—the modern version of a pot-luck, where everyone brings 1-2 ingredients to put together a meal. We usually enjoyed the Mexican Pile-On, with tortillas, chips, ground beef, shredded chicken, beans, tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, olives, etc. The “pile-on” is the fun part: everyone gets to choose from all the separate items to build their own taco, burrito, or nachos. With my own kids, the pile-on dinner has become an easy way for me to serve family-style in a manner that suits the very different feeding temperaments of my children. I have expanded this to the “Potato Pile-On”, “Pasta Pile-On”, and “Pancake Pile-On”. I get out lots of toppings and put them all on the table, and am continuously surprised at the “inventions” that my boys make from the offerings. The pasta night includes spaghetti, tortellini, or some other pasta, pesto and tomato sauce, cut up tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, and avocados, Parmesan and mozzarella cheese, and diced chicken or ground turkey. Pancake pile-on is made up of sweet potato or apple pancakes (I add sweet potato puree or applesauce), various fruit cut up in bowls, yogurt, turkey bacon or apple-cinnamon sausage, gouda or goat cheese, and scrambled eggs. The other night, we had baked potatoes, and my oldest came up with this: My younger son went a completely different way (no surprise there) but ended up with quite the food sculpture! Mine was a more traditional stuffed baked potato with cheese, sour cream, broccoli, and turkey bacon, with the tomatoes and avocados on the side as a...

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